I visited with my dear NZ pal, Intan Meyer, the great bead maker. She hand blows the most astounding glass beads from old vodka bottles, broken windows, champagne glasses….you name it. If it is made of glass, she will turn it into some beautiful piece of jewelry!
(If you want to know more, let me know and I will post her info for you. In case there is a fine bottle of Chardonnay you MUST have turned into a necklace. I did.)

At the moment she is in the middle of a ferocious battle with lung cancer…holding her own in a magnificent way. I am astounded by the bravery of my warrior friends battling these diseases that call themselves Cancer. Strangely, almost all of them at the moment are women. And all of them look even MORE beautiful stripped of hair and eyebrows and trivia. The true heart shines through so clearly.

Here is a bit of humor she sent me.

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you” …
Her husband asks, “Is that you, or the wine talking?” …

She replies, “It’s me…talking to the wine.”

Rock on, Intan!!! Rock on!

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I LOVE a good hat and own several,

 

but mayhap they take it to an extreme.

 

You think?

 

While I was in NZ, the royals got married. It was a very big deal in New Zealand. There was much toasting and celebrating and talking about the DRESS and the HAT. I LOVE THE HAT!!!

Speaking of poems, I am seriously considering self- publishing some of my own. They have been sitting in this ring binder for quite a while now…the ones that would NOT turn themselves into a lyric or set themselves to music. That is my mystery project for this upcoming year. Any advice in this arena would be GREATLY appreciated!

And speaking of poems, I JUST returned from brisk, refreshing Tucson (111 degrees in the shade), where I did some concerts with my beloved honey George and the divine Michele Brourman at the FABULOUS Arizona Inn. (Which, if you have any reason to visit Tucson, and you SHOULD, but not in July!) you must experience. The last vestige of old elegance. Built in 1930 mainly to house the cowboy movie stars while they were filming. The huge pool where they bring you constant ice water and free ice cream sundaes at all hours! The fabulous staff (they wipe your car seats down with a cold cloth before you get in!)…the gorgeous rooms. Seriously, you MUST treat yourselves and go!
But I digress. While there I re-met an astounding poetess by the name of Jane Candia Coleman. She is a friend of Michele’s and now mine, a Pulitzer Prize nominee, TWICE, and a glorious writer and gal. Check out a book of her poetry called NO ROOF BUT SKY if you want to taste the elegance of the True West.

Over margueritas , she and Michele and I were talking about the internet…the blessing and the curse of it. (We ARE over 40 and still remember typewriters with fondness.) So she sent me this.

Dear Friends and Family,

As we progress in the year 2011, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now, and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel. 

I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. 
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. 
 
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose. 
 
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.  
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. 
 
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. 
 
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time. 
 
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. 
 
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish. 
 
I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone. 
 
I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers. 
 
I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. 
 
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. 
 
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up. 
 
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life. 
 
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. 
 
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise. 
 
And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. 
 
I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake (or poisonous spider) could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt. 
 
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t even pick up a coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over. 
 
I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators. 
 
I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . . .

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My favorite irony photo of the moment…

My favorite real billboard…

My favorite music…

- FLEET FOXES!!! My Beatles for the millennium!

- 
WENDY LANE BAILEY – “Breathing”…so beautiful!
Her version of Joni Mitchell’s NITE RIDE HOME is the perfect song for July. 
The CD or download is available through CD Baby
(www.cdbaby.com/cd/wendylanebailey ) and also Amazon and I-tunes.

- 
LEE LESSACK’s new CD “Chanteur” is luscious! Perfect for a romantic evening of wine with someone who’s eyes you like to stare into.
-  lmlmusic.com/lee-lessack-chanteur.

My favorite reading material:

- THE SOCIAL ANIMAL by David Brooks

My favorite film:

- MIDNIGHT IN PARIS of course!

And now I am trading the dry heat of Tucson for the moist heat of New Haven as I head to Yale for a week of sharing music with some students and some brilliant teachers at the Cabaret Conference.

I realize that Cabaret will never be a money maker for anyone (except maybe the divine Andrea M), but it fills hearts with joy and healing, for both singer and listener, and I am delighted to share what I know and learn what everyone else knows. It’s a blast! I’ll tell all!

Happy Summer. Stay hydrated! Stay joyful!

Dance under the moon!

(Here’s my favorite photo…my friend Martin Fletcher took this of a Condor last week.)

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Happy Equinox!

Happy Daylight savings time!

Happy Passover!

Happy Easter!

Okay, it’s officially Spring!  Nature is being creative and there are cute baby creatures everywhere.

(Sometimes I think perhaps Nature gets a little too creative…or maybe just high.)

Anyway…it’s gorgeous in my backyard. Between the blooming of the star jasmine, the wysteria, the orange blossoms, and the mock orange, it smells  like a really upscale whorehouse in my back yard ( somewhat like that Voyeur Club in West Hollywood I have been hearing so much about on the news of late, I imagine.) And the Orioles are back, in all their golden splendour, and the  Cedar Waxwings, looking like so many Frito Bandidos in the silver maple. My observation of the upcoming easter holiday is to stand in my back yard and say “Thank You!”

My pal Joel, who is joyfully Jewish, says of Passover that the motto for all happy Jewish holidays is “They tried to kill us. We won. Let’s eat!”

Sounds like a T-shirt motto to me!

So how has your Spring been so far?

( I know I shouldn’t ask that of you there in the East, who are growing gills as I type. I hope you start drying out very soon.)

Mine has been quite entertaining. I traveled to  a strange new land, Indianapolis, to perform  at a gorgeous venue called  The Cabaret at the Columbia Club, in the heart of Indianapolis. A GORGEOUS old stone building in he heart of the city, directly across the street from one of the most evil Chocolate Shops in the WORLD, where they serve your coffee mocha with REAL mocha  and you stir it with a milk chocolate spoon.  You have to stir FAST! It was the most decadent thing I have put in my mouth since my college days, I am thinking. (Don’t ask!!!)

We had a ball. The people were divine and enthusiastic and friendly and loved  the shows, which shows their impeccable good taste, And the high point… I found  out not only Cole Porter, but Hoagy Carmichale , are from Indiana.  And on the top floor of the Columbia Club, in a quiet old  empty ballroom, sits the beautiful burlwood piano Hoagy used to play when he performed in Indianapolis! One of the precious moments of my life was sitting  in the window seat looking down on the heart of  the city, while Michele Brourman played a gentle SKYLARK on that very piano as the sun was setting. My neck hairs still rise in pleasure at the thought.

THEN  I took my first EVER trip to NYC, the Big Sooty, JUST to see theater. I had never done that before. There have always been eyelashes and pantyhose and a job in my travel future. But not this time!!!! My honey and I wanted to go to see the opening of the wonderful pay NEXT FALL, that my dear, genius pal Sheryl Kaller was directing…her Broadway debut. We decided why not go whole hog, stay 4 days and see five plays. That was about all one COULD see in the storm of the century that hit the city just as we did. Sideways rain. I have heard about it.

So we saw:

NEXT FALL…so smart and so compassionate and beautifully  acted and directed!

TIME STANDS STILL starring Laura Linney and Brian D’Arcy James ( my New York hero)…thought provoking and  so smartt!

FELA!… an astounding musical event, starring the most beautiful actor/dancers and the best band I have ever experienced.

A BEHANDING IN SPOKANE with Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell…need I say ANYTHING??? I laughed myself sick. (Walken in the flesh, and Rockwell too. Men I have :lusted for for aeons. I can die happy now.)

and finally…

THE SCOTSBORO BOYS… the final musical by John Kander and Fred Ebb, starring John Cullum. Deep and disturbing and beautiful .

And what a thrill to hear unheard Kander and Ebb! That’s like discovering the lost Beatles album.

AND I got to hug John Kander and gush at him afterwards.

The first time we met, we were both at the Grammy’s. The only time the songwriters were invited to sing their own songs. He and Fred were up for NEW YORK, NEW YORK and I for THE  ROSE. They were both so nervous  at the thought of singing on  television they could hardly breathe. I tied both their bow ties for them and taught them instant Lamaze breathing and we both lost to Christopher Cross and SAILING.  What a night!

On this trip I realized that I had seen five spectacularly  fine pieces of theater. I felt as if I had been locked in a Godiva Chocolate factory for four days. My mind was FAT with all I had seen. What I love the most about theater is its instant ability to truly disturb you and  make you think, so much more so than film or TV…mediums I adore. Theater is the most precious of the performing arts, and should be much more nurtured than it is!

That’s my forty-two cents!

That’s what I have been doing..and feeding my roses…and walking my dogs…and getting ready for adventures about to occur…concerts in Tucson and San Francisco, and a DANGEROUS BEAUTY workshop in New York for two weeks, and then Tuscany, my Tuscany in May. Yahoo!!!

Speaking of Tucson…there is a wonderful theater company there I have mentioned before  called The Pastime Players… last Spring Michele and I were there to perform and we wound up recording a song we wrote, called SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, with the company, and it became the title for a wonderful documentary about this company of developmentally  disadvantaged performers. also called SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, which has just made its way into two film festivals. Yay!!!!! Good deeds in a weary world.

So,  here’s my culture corner.

My favorite movies:

PRECIOUS ( oh, wow! SO much more than I thought it would be.)

CIRQUE D’FREAK…a great vampire romp

TV:

THE PACIFIC…truly one of the best things television has ever produced.

TEMPLE GRANDIN with Claire Danes

Music:

One Eskimo…what a turn on!  If the Beatles were born in 1990′s.

And a return to the beauty that is FLOYD COLLINS.

Book:

The Enchantress of Florence..Salmon Rushdie…a baked alaska for the mind

The recipe of the moment!

Carmelized Pears and Red Onions!

Yumm!!!!

Prep: 5 minutes

Total: 45 minutes
Serves 4

Ingredients

    •    2 firm, ripe red pears, such as Bartlett, cored and quartered
    •    2 red onions, each cut into 6 wedges
    •    1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
    •    Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper

Directions

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Drizzle pears and onions with oil. Season with salt and pepper, and toss. Spread mixture in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet. Roast, turning pieces occasionally, until golden brown, about 40 minutes.

My favorite cartoon:

My favorite bit of  cynicism:

How Fairy Tales REALLY End!

Cinderella:

Sleeping Beauty:

The Little Mermaid

Newspaper article:

These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper -

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER .
 8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES:
 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
 Looks like a rat. Been out a while. 
Better be a big reward.

NORDIC TRACK
 $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
 Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . 
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie

FOR SALE BY OWNER: 
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Husband knows everything..

My favorite shaggy dog story:

GIRLFRIENDS

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Café Monet restaurant because the waiters there are totally hot.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group plans to meet again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Café Monet because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group plans to meet again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Café Monet because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group plans to meet again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Café Monet because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group plans to meet again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Café Monet because they have never been there before.

(I hate to admit I can SO identify!)

And my favorite inspirational story from my pal,  Doug Motel, doting father of gorgeous daughter, Maitrea.

He gave me permission to quote from his blog.

Laugh & Learn | March 2010

The Great Way

Our four-year-old daughter Maitreya came out with a wild statement the other day. I was looking at her, thinking how darned cute she was. She hates to be called cute, so I said, ‘You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.’ She got this faraway look in her eyes and said, with her ‘you silly daddy’ voice, ‘Dad, I know I’m beautiful, but I am not more beautiful than any other girl.’ She said it as a very matter-of-fact statement with no drama attached to it.

So far, Treya has shown herself to be a person who spends very little energy reflecting on the opinion of others (no matter how crazy it makes us). I have never heard even a slightly self-deprecating comment from her, and her tone here was not a put-down at all. Still, my first thought was that someone must have told her that she was not more beautiful than other girls and I wanted to strangle them. After all, part of my job here is to make her feel like she is the most beautiful girl in the world, right?

‘Who told you that?’ I asked, trying to not to sound too urgent.

‘Nobody told me that. I told myself. I am beautiful, but not any more beautiful than any other girl’, she explained patiently.

I flashed on this little Zen booklet that I keep next to my side of the bed. Hsin-Hsin Ming (verses on the Faith-Mind) was written by the seventh-century Zen patriarch, Seng Ts’an. In it, he says:

If you wish to know truth, then hold to no opinions for or against anything.
To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind.

I realized that Maitreya was right. All little girls and boys are beautiful. Everything here is equally beautiful if you are looking at it from the right place. What, after all, is really the hidden agenda under the desire to be ‘the most’ this or that? 

I think that nothing has been more exhausting to my mind and body than judging. Judging is the opposite of peace, I think.

I have known many women who were told that they were the most beautiful girl in the world only to hit age 13 and get panicky about keeping their ‘title’. 

Suddenly, I realized that once again Maitreya had something valuable to teach me.

‘Okay Trey. I see your point. All little girls are beautiful in their own way. Thanks.’ And off we drove to the playground.

Is there a place in YOUR life where you are clinging to a title that has you trapped, like ‘the most effective co-worker’, ‘the most dependable friend’, ‘the most beautiful girl in the group’? What might happen if you entertained the idea of letting the importance of that go?

Thank you, Doug!

That’s my thinking for now.

I wish you all a joyous April,and may you keep Spring

in your heart !

Love,

Amanda

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