That means middle of the month.
That means it has been a lonnnng time since I applied fingers to keyboard. My beloved webmaster, Chris, is TRULY getting impatient with me, so I am resolved to be a much better person and write much more often, whether or not there is anything of great import to contribute to the web. (He is so STRICT!)

Chris the demanding webmaster

And SO MUCH has been going on!

Not only on the planet, but in my small corner of it.

So…a quick catch-up.

April brought CARNEGIE HALL!!!

I was invited to be one of the singers at a fabulous tribute to Margaret Whiting, hosted by the divine Michael Feinstein, singing along with Billy Stritch, my personal guru-ess Marilyn Maye, and Michele Brourman. It was a total sob of joy of an evening.

One of the MANY things I love about Carnegie Hall is that all the tech people wear at least suits, if not tuxes. Elegance on stage and off.
And it was New York in April. You can’t beat that for beauty. All the parks and trees were dressed in pale green smoke.

AND I got to see WAR HORSE at Lincoln Center, which is one of the most astounding theatrical events of my long, long life. I cannot recommend it highly enough! Just when you think theater has finally fallen to the revival and the flying car, along comes something so magical, simple, moving.

Run, do not walk, if you can get a ticket!

Then along comes May.

And New Zealand. Two beautiful weeks in NZ in the late Autumn. So strange to see the Easter bunny hopping between the falling leaves. Somehow, that is so much more bizarre than Christmas in the height of summer. I spent my time fishing… (I LOVE deep sea fishing .Catch and release, of course.) I would spend my entire life on a boat if I could.

I watched the infinite clouds roll by in their perfect sky. Inspired a poem.
Here ‘tis.

THE LONG WHITE CLOUD
HE IS CRUISING TODAY…GOD…
NOT EVEN FLAPPING THOSE BOUNDLESS WINGS
ALL CLOUD WHITE AND FEATHERED
WITH THE BREATH OF SUPPLICATION
FROM HIS MINUTE, LAST MINUTE THOUGHT
HIS CHILDREN

SHE IS DRIFTING
ACROSS THE PALE, DAWN SILVERED,
BLUE PROMISED SKY, BACKLIT
BY ONE TINY SUN
IN ITS FEROCIOUS BURN
RIDING THE UPDRAFT,

IT SAILS ON,
TODAY TRANQUIL,
TOMORROW TERRIBLE
ACCEPTING ALL,
PROMISING NOTHING

SOME GODS DANCE
ON THE HEADS OF PINS
MINE HAS A WING SPAN
WIDE AS THE BRIGHT
NEW ZEALAND
SKY

Goodies and Gossip

I visited with my dear NZ pal, Intan Meyer, the great bead maker. She hand blows the most astounding glass beads from old vodka bottles, broken windows, champagne glasses….you name it. If it is made of glass, she will turn it into some beautiful piece of jewelry!
(If you want to know more, let me know and I will post her info for you. In case there is a fine bottle of Chardonnay you MUST have turned into a necklace. I did.)

At the moment she is in the middle of a ferocious battle with lung cancer…holding her own in a magnificent way. I am astounded by the bravery of my warrior friends battling these diseases that call themselves Cancer. Strangely, almost all of them at the moment are women. And all of them look even MORE beautiful stripped of hair and eyebrows and trivia. The true heart shines through so clearly.

Here is a bit of humor she sent me.

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you” …
Her husband asks, “Is that you, or the wine talking?” …

She replies, “It’s me…talking to the wine.”

Rock on, Intan!!! Rock on!

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I LOVE a good hat and own several,

but mayhap they take it to an extreme.

You think?

While I was in NZ, the royals got married. It was a very big deal in New Zealand. There was much toasting and celebrating and talking about the DRESS and the HAT. I LOVE THE HAT!!!

Speaking of poems, I am seriously considering self- publishing some of my own. They have been sitting in this ring binder for quite a while now…the ones that would NOT turn themselves into a lyric or set themselves to music. That is my mystery project for this upcoming year. Any advice in this arena would be GREATLY appreciated!

And speaking of poems, I JUST returned from brisk, refreshing Tucson (111 degrees in the shade), where I did some concerts with my beloved honey George and the divine Michele Brourman at the FABULOUS Arizona Inn. (Which, if you have any reason to visit Tucson, and you SHOULD, but not in July!) you must experience. The last vestige of old elegance. Built in 1930 mainly to house the cowboy movie stars while they were filming. The huge pool where they bring you constant ice water and free ice cream sundaes at all hours! The fabulous staff (they wipe your car seats down with a cold cloth before you get in!)…the gorgeous rooms. Seriously, you MUST treat yourselves and go!
But I digress. While there I re-met an astounding poetess by the name of Jane Candia Coleman. She is a friend of Michele’s and now mine, a Pulitzer Prize nominee, TWICE, and a glorious writer and gal. Check out a book of her poetry called NO ROOF BUT SKY if you want to taste the elegance of the True West.

Over margueritas , she and Michele and I were talking about the internet…the blessing and the curse of it. (We ARE over 40 and still remember typewriters with fondness.) So she sent me this.

Dear Friends and Family,

As we progress in the year 2011, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now, and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel. 

I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels. 
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. 
 
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose. 
 
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.  
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. 
 
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. 
 
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time. 
 
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. 
 
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish. 
 
I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone. 
 
I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers. 
 
I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. 
 
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. 
 
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up. 
 
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life. 
 
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. 
 
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise. 
 
And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. 
 
I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake (or poisonous spider) could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt. 
 
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t even pick up a coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over. 
 
I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators. 
 
I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . . .

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My favorite irony photo of the moment…

My favorite real billboard…

My favorite music…

- FLEET FOXES!!! My Beatles for the millennium!

- 
WENDY LANE BAILEY – “Breathing”…so beautiful!
Her version of Joni Mitchell’s NITE RIDE HOME is the perfect song for July. 
The CD or download is available through CD Baby
(www.cdbaby.com/cd/wendylanebailey ) and also Amazon and I-tunes.

- 
LEE LESSACK’s new CD “Chanteur” is luscious! Perfect for a romantic evening of wine with someone who’s eyes you like to stare into.
-  lmlmusic.com/lee-lessack-chanteur.

My favorite reading material:

- THE SOCIAL ANIMAL by David Brooks

My favorite film:

- MIDNIGHT IN PARIS of course!

And now I am trading the dry heat of Tucson for the moist heat of New Haven as I head to Yale for a week of sharing music with some students and some brilliant teachers at the Cabaret Conference.

I realize that Cabaret will never be a money maker for anyone (except maybe the divine Andrea M), but it fills hearts with joy and healing, for both singer and listener, and I am delighted to share what I know and learn what everyone else knows. It’s a blast! I’ll tell all!

Happy Summer. Stay hydrated! Stay joyful!

Dance under the moon!

(Here’s my favorite photo…my friend Martin Fletcher took this of a Condor last week.)

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