It’s Deep Spring!

It’s almost Daylight Saving’s Time and I have been remiss, as usual!
I have been so caught up in learning how to answer messages on my Facebook page (I TOLD you I am totally techno-disfunctional!!!) that I completely forget to enter the Land of Blog!
But hey, ho, Here I am!
And how are you in these strange, strange days?

(I wrote a song about that. I will include the lyrics at the end of this opus, just for fun.)

I am doing mighty fine, thank you, for a woman of my age and weight.

New Years started out with a bang. I made it to midnight for the first time in years!

I even made it through watching Kathy Griffin embarrass Anderson Cooper, which is so much more fun than watching Dick Clark’s ball drop. Bless his sweet heart, as we say in Texas.

A week’s work in a beautiful, seductive town, dripping with charm, history , and Spanish moss. If New Orleans is a delicious slut, Savannah is a high class courtesan.

I was there to judge this fantastic vocal competition. I was one of five judges, including the divine Liz Callaway, (Broadway diva and all around great gal), Denyce Graves, the STAR of opera stars and another great gal, Robert Sadin, a truly fascinating and most erudite music producer, who produces everyone from Sting to Kathleen Battle, Joseph Joubert, a brilliant pianist who PLAYs for everyone from Sting to Kathleen Battle when he isn’t wowing them all with his astounding jazz piano fingers. (He wrote the arrangementments for CAROLINE OR CHANGE, excuuuuse me.)

We were quite an eclectic mix. It made for VERY interesting discussions around the judging table. THEY knew their Queen of the Night Arias, Liz and I knew our Broadway and Cabaret chops.
And the competitors, all 32 of them, were fantastic. I discovered
I would MUCH rather sing than judge . That is HARD WORK.
 But it was totally rewarding, and fattening.

We were wined and dined and astounded by the TRUE essence of Southern hospitality. AND fried green tomatoes. Bliss, I tell you.

I was lucky enough to sing a concert with Liz and the divine Joel Martin

AND to sit in on master classes both Liz and Denyce gave.
At one point I was sitting in the church where the classes were held and Denyce walked by, holding the hand of a nervous student, and she was illustrating a breathing technique and opened her mouth and projected just as she reached my pew. It was like being punched in the head with a mink boxing glove! Glorious! Powerful! Olympian!

And she says she still takes singing lessons all the time.
I am inspired!!!!

This is me with my two new BFF’s , Liz and Denyce,at the airport the day we left…
Jpeg of Liz and Denyce.

I DO hope I get a chance to return.

And now I am at home in my garden. Writing poetry, rewrites for DANGEROUS BEAUTY, the musical that refuses to die, and being as content as one can be during times of Republican campaigns and Syrian civil wars! Oy!

Here is my latest ode…

I AM SEDUCED BY SPRING
BY ITS PALE GREEN SMOKE
A VEIL OF HOPE
WANDERING THE WAKING TREES

I AM SEDUCED BY SPRING
BY THE WILD ROCK AND ROLL ABANDON OF BIRDS
PLEADING IN MELLIFLUOUS HALLELUJAHS
FOR A FIGHT OR A FUCK

I AM SEDUCED BY SPRING
BY THE BATTLE OF WISTERIA AND JASMINE
LEMON BLOSSOM AND MOCK ORANGE
TURNING THE GARDEN
TO AN ELEGANT WHOREHOUSE FOR MY NOSE

I AM SEDUCED BY SPRING
STEALING ME FROM MY SHOULDS AND DUTIES
TO THE YARD FILLING WITH BRAZEN DAFFODILS
AND PEACH BLOSSOMS

MY EYES ARE WIDE
MY WILL IS GONE
MY PULSE IS WILD
MY SOUL CAN ONLY SING
I AM SEDUCED BY SPRING.

So the Grammys have passed. I watched them for the first time in five years and fell madly in love with Taylor Swift and pretty hot for Katie Perry. Who knew there were so many great musical youngsters out there, she cackled!!??

The Oscars have passed. The Artist made me very happy. Christopher Plummer made me very happy. The fact that they didn’t have the decency or imagination to perform the two, count ‘em, only TWO songs that were nominated pissed me off.
Oh, for the days of “It’s Hard Out Here For A Pimp”!

But no more complaining. There is enough of that already these strange days.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”  The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.  Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.”  The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the bastards.”  They don’t have any other levels.  This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.”  The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.”  The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.  It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.”  Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”  They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere…

New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!” Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us.”

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate.” Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!”, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend,” and “The barbie is cancelled.”  So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level..

My favorite billboard:

And here are my culture faves….

MOVIES: MELANCHOLIA, ( so spooky and beautiful!), HUGO (big Wow!), THE ARTIST, MOTHER AND CHILD (Annette Bening at her most amazing)

TV: SMASH ( I am not ashamed to admit it), AWAKE (Jason Isaacs, take me home with you!)


MUSIC: ART OF LOVE, The Music of Machaut- Robert Sadin
(This one is REALLY special! 14the century French music intermixed with contemporary jazz and world music. Wow!), Leonard Cohen’s latest
Taylor Swift –anything she does at all, ever!

She is my new favorite lyricist.

STRANGE DAYS

When you can’t afford an aspirin at a hospital
But you get x-rayed at the airport for free
‘cause some kid inside a plane,
A taco shy of sane,
Set himself on fire with his bvd’s

When earthquakes and tornados hit Connecticut
The entire state of Texas is ablaze
When the climate keeps on changing
And our cells are rearranging
These, my friends, are strange, strange days.

Now liposuction doesn’t need a scalpel
There are lasers that will turn your fat to pee
There’s an island made of plastic, condoms and elastic
Floating in the tropics that’s the size of Tennessee

When a banker worth a billion is a paragon
But a naked man full frontal is obscene
It’s enough to drive you mad
Still, there’s good as well as bad
Now an army man can brag he’s both a captain
And a queen

We made it through McCarthy …made it through the bomb
We made it through George Bush and Charley Sheen
Though the future is unclear One thing brings me cheer
To quote my favorite lyricist, “we’re still here”

So I think it’s time to get our shit well organized
To look beyond the doldrums and malaise
‘stead of drifting with the flow, fight the undertow
If you don’t like where we’re going, honey,
Grab an oar and row

As  we watch the world revolve…
old paradigms dissolve…
stop bitchin’ in the kitchen
Let’s just shut up and evolve!

And we’ll make it through these strange, strange days
Together we might make it through these strange, strange days.